Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
