for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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