check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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