i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Why is there bacon in the couch?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
