you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
