Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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