yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
