Sry I called you an 8
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
