Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize