I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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