I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
she looked like the before picture.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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