I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
