People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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