He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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