Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
