i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
