Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
