You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
