So drunk its hurt
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
