There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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