I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
