Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have fence marks all over my body
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize