I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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