I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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