If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize