feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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