I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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