I faked an abortion last night.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
