Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I love how my cats smell like pot.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
