is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
