You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
