so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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