I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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