Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
