omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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