when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He's a Shit stain on my heart
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
