its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
