and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
