Just fell off a train. Bad.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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