can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize