who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
