I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
