they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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