Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He? As in you personified your dick?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
