dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize