i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
