Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
