It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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