I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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