and next time when you feel me up, do it right
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
