Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
