oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
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