I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Randomize
