Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
There are leaves in my underwear?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize