A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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