i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
