there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
