Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
