Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Well I just put wine in my tea
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
