Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
