My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
