Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize