Sponge bath it is.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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