i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
