dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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