thus making me awesome and them whores
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Did we literally take a cab across the street
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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