I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
